It was a humbling and curious experience, watching first THE GREATEST LOVE STORY NEVER TOLD, a documentary about Jennifer Lopez, followed by THIS IS ME NOW, the film that Jennifer Lopez created about her romantic life.
I preface this with the knowing that I have job security as a therapist, in large part, because we have an epidemic in this country of feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH. In feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH, clients are trying to fill the hole in their SELF LOVE BUCKET with outside sources of validation, attention, and love. But by the very nature that they don’t actually believe themselves to be worthy of love, they drain their friends and family trying to fill a bucket that can’t hold the validation, attention, and love they long for.
Jennifer Lopez vulnerably shares that she was emotionally neglected as a child and how her career has been an effort to seek validation, attention, and love through writing song and film, directing, singing, creating, orchestrating, and choreographing — all to finally feel GOOD ENOUGH.
How many of you have felt similarly NOT GOOD ENOUGH and from that, exhaust yourself through over-achievement? Or have you given up on trying to achieve because the efforts felt daunting?
Well, if Jennifer Lopez’s successes haven’t filled her SELF LOVE BUCKET, can all this DOING fill yours?
If you know that not even Jennifer Lopez’s successes have healed her beliefs about her, then maybe you can stop doing and start BEING.
BEING a loving, kind, engaged, playful, thoughtful wise sage to your wounded inner child.
It’s only when YOU love YOUR inner child, pay attention to her, validate her…
because YOU were there for every heart break,
because YOU know exactly what she always needed but didn’t get,
that she begins to feel seen, heard, and validated…
and from that SHE, as part of YOU, heals.
